Tail over Teakettle: Laughing at myself

103-0330_IMGWith the knees not what they were, folding myself smaller, kneeling on a pad or getting down to a lower level gracefully has just not happened in the last few years.  I can squat a bit better, for a very short time-read 1 second and then up again.  Gardening I still love, but I’m better now just getting down to it.  By that I mean: sit in the dirt, carefully stretching legs over plants and trying not to crush anything too much.  It works-I just slide along on my butt.  Yeah, the neighbor though it pretty funny, calling it something like playing in the sandbox again.  But heck! it works, ’cause I’ve carefully planned for my tools and weed bin to be close by and there we are. Wait! Damn! Forgot to move the nursery plants closer to me so all I have to do is grab, dig, pat into place and move on.  I then of course forget the next flat, but by then it’s time for me to straighten myself up and de-stiffen said knee joints.

So, working in the front yard has usually been not so bad, no one could see me, I was well hidden by bigger grown plants and there was a little statue to help me push myself up.103-0337_IMG  Ah! Now we have not so grown up plants to hide behind and while I still may move along on my butt, my eccentricity is there for all to see.  Shall I tell you that sometimes I do the “Perch and Bend?”  That’s when I sit on a padded cherry bucket-yes, upended with a kneeling pad on top, and then bend over (great waist/hip exercise) to dig, plant, pat and move on.  It doesn’t work as slick as sliding on my rear, and I have to get up and move everything.  Here’s when the neighbors should be watching for the comical lady in the wide brimmed sunhat!

Cherry buckets are square and have rims, thereby needing padding to sit on ’cause they’re quite uncomfortable otherwise. Well, to me anyway.  They also are not really built for sitting on and are made quite evenly, as well they should, and they do not like uneven-ness.  If perhaps, one is planing on sitting on such a device and lowers oneself gracefully, be careful to hit the target dead center! If a part of the cherry bucket/seat is at all over a low part of the ground or an uneven patch…well, woe betide she who attempts gracefulness.

Yeah, yeah, that’s all to say that that is what happened to me while planting impatiens in the front (where the neighbors are probably hiding behind their shutters, or totally ignoring the goofball in the yard across the street).  I went backwards off the bucket, landing on my back-thankfully in the dirt with feet and arms up in the air.  (Hat stayed on head!) Split second timing and I sat up, looked around and just laughed…at myself.  I wish I could draw, such as the perfect subject for a comic strip, but you’ll have to picture me in my big straw hat and…thar she goes.   So, for the rest of the planting, I stayed down low, as low to the ground as I could get, flat on my bum in the dirt where it’s safe….uneven, but safe.

Nope. Nothing hurt, broken or strained, not even my pride.

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